








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 697 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1410 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1311 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1209 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,112 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoshY | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | Issy | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | Kru3geR | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Knalsigaar | 47% | 95 |
| #5 | .|. SinepeM | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .|. SinepeM | 174 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Knalsigaar | 160 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Issy | 112 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kru3geR | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | YoshY | 23 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knalsigaar | +2.68 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | YoshY | +2.53 | 47 | 44 |
| #3 | Kru3geR | +0.40 | 42 | 54 |
| #4 | Issy | -0.51 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | .|. SinepeM | -0.94 | 28 | 77 |





