








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 795 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5822 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18349 | 43% |
| Smokes | 11833 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 10566 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1635 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,762,057 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kvN | 52% | 131 |
| #2 | Issy | 50% | 138 |
| #3 | YoshY | 50% | 111 |
| #4 | Knalsigaar | 47% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kvN | 52% | 131 |
| #2 | Issy | 50% | 138 |
| #3 | YoshY | 50% | 111 |
| #4 | Knalsigaar | 47% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knalsigaar | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | kvN | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Issy | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | YoshY | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Issy | 408 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Knalsigaar | 299 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | kvN | 240 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | YoshY | 67 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knalsigaar | +2.58 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | kvN | +2.18 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | YoshY | +1.21 | 44 | 47 |
| #4 | .|. SinepeM | +0.18 | 27 | 76 |
| #5 | Issy | -0.26 | 69 | 68 |





