








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1241 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1437 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2463 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 626 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,245,825 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 526 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kru3geR | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Elmo | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | Issy | 57% | 88 |
| #4 | Knalsigaar | 55% | 116 |
| #5 | kvN | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Elmo | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | Issy | 57% | 88 |
| #4 | Knalsigaar | 55% | 116 |
| #5 | kvN | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | .|. SinepeM | 50% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knalsigaar | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | .|. SinepeM | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Kru3geR | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Issy | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Elmo | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .|. SinepeM | 413 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Issy | 295 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Knalsigaar | 207 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kru3geR | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Elmo | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knalsigaar | +2.29 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | kvN | +2.01 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | YoshY | +0.47 | 45 | 45 |
| #4 | Issy | -0.17 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | Kru3geR | -0.75 | 43 | 55 |





