










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 872 | 34% |
| Smokes | 531 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 436 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 699 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,418 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 60% | 20 |
| #6 | SG.BESTIMMER | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | cumback | 57% | 21 |
| #8 | mospunktcom (retired) | 57% | 60 |
| #9 | unit | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobody | 10 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | uney | 4 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | mospunktcom (retired) | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | pREDDY trägt alle | 3 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mospunktcom (retired) | 247 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Nobody | 142 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | uney | 102 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 91 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | pREDDY trägt alle | 91 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobody | +4.33 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | pREDDY trägt alle | +4.22 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | +2.07 | 85 | 64 |
| #4 | mospunktcom (retired) | +1.41 | 77 | 77 |
| #5 | SG.BESTIMMER | +1.27 | 72 | 34 |





