








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1268 | 48% |
| Smokes | 481 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 677 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 232 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,570 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TexVilleri | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | sonni | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | nekkub | 50% | 52 |
| #8 | LEPUSKIN S1MPLE | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | Maekib | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nekkub | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Maekib | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Jyrnyb | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Serla, adapteri kans hukassa | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | LEPUSKIN S1MPLE | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyrnyb | 184 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | nekkub | 156 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Maekib | 153 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | LEPUSKIN S1MPLE | 35 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Santtu saatana | 32 | 0.18 | 1 min |





