








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2993 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2331 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2144 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2031 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,353 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OLENMAX | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | Jyrnyb | 58% | 106 |
| #3 | toffeepulla123 | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | sonni | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | nekkub | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | toffeepulla123 | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | sonni | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | nekkub | 48% | 64 |
| #6 | TexVilleri | 46% | 136 |
| #7 | trekki | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TexVilleri | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Jyrnyb | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | sonni | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | trekki | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | nekkub | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyrnyb | 511 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | TexVilleri | 496 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | nekkub | 167 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | trekki | 163 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | OLENMAX | 74 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sonni | +2.00 | 61 | 54 |
| #2 | Maekib | +1.88 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Jyrnyb | +1.71 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | OLENMAX | -1.12 | 37 | 56 |
| #5 | trekki | -1.17 | 67 | 64 |





