








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 339 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3759 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5051 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3109 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3233 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $864,410 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kannibale in Zivil | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | problem | 51% | 113 |
| #3 | ⓂⒺⓂⒺⓈ ☈ ❤ | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Kitano | 49% | 85 |
| #5 | Linath ( °□°) ︵ is a Ninja. | 47% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | р⭕⃤ₓ | 46% | 284 |
| #8 | ✪ Georg Nüßlein ☁☂ | 46% | 246 |
| #9 | SaltyMalty | 44% | 96 |
| #10 | Riley | 42% | 26 |
| #11 | Lizzard got boosted | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | р⭕⃤ₓ | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ✪ Georg Nüßlein ☁☂ | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Linath ( °□°) ︵ is a Ninja. | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | problem | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | SaltyMalty | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Linath ( °□°) ︵ is a Ninja. | 392 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | AlunK | 274 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | SaltyMalty | 257 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | р⭕⃤ₓ | 244 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✪ Georg Nüßlein ☁☂ | 204 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | problem | +2.03 | 63 | 63 |
| #2 | tokaR | +1.74 | 51 | 63 |
| #3 | р⭕⃤ₓ | +0.87 | 52 | 59 |
| #4 | ⓂⒺⓂⒺⓈ ☈ ❤ | +0.49 | 46 | 54 |
| #5 | Kitano | +0.44 | 47 | 53 |





