








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 447 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1996 | 11% |
| Smokes | 6360 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5023 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4884 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $968,384 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 364 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitano | 51% | 96 |
| #2 | Woozie | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | KJ | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | problem | 50% | 112 |
| #5 | AlunK | 47% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | tokaR | 46% | 284 |
| #7 | SaltyMalty | 44% | 160 |
| #8 | Linath ( °□°) ︵ is a Ninja. | 44% | 147 |
| #9 | ✪ Georg Nüßlein ☁☂ | 43% | 232 |
| #10 | Lizzard got boosted | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tokaR | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ✪ Georg Nüßlein ☁☂ | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | SaltyMalty | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Linath ( °□°) ︵ is a Ninja. | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | problem | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tokaR | 795 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | SaltyMalty | 519 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Linath ( °□°) ︵ is a Ninja. | 346 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | AlunK | 337 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | ✪ Georg Nüßlein ☁☂ | 172 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | problem | +2.00 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | tokaR | +1.78 | 52 | 63 |
| #3 | р⭕⃤ₓ | +0.91 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | SaltyMalty | +0.66 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | Kitano | +0.54 | 48 | 54 |





