








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 939 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2312 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3422 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1828 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,466,528 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | problem | 48% | 114 |
| #2 | Kitano | 48% | 81 |
| #3 | AlunK | 48% | 82 |
| #4 | tokaR | 46% | 246 |
| #5 | Linath ( °□°) ︵ is a Ninja. | 44% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Lizzard got boosted | 39% | 51 |
| #9 | Woozie | 39% | 23 |
| #10 | SaltyMalty | 37% | 115 |
| #11 | KJ | 36% | 22 |
| #12 | Riley | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | р⭕⃤ₓ | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | tokaR | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | SaltyMalty | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ⓂⒺⓂⒺⓈ ☈ ❤ | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | problem | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tokaR | 679 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | Linath ( °□°) ︵ is a Ninja. | 396 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | SaltyMalty | 310 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | AlunK | 245 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | р⭕⃤ₓ | 164 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | problem | +2.29 | 65 | 62 |
| #2 | tokaR | +1.93 | 51 | 64 |
| #3 | Kitano | +0.97 | 48 | 49 |
| #4 | ⓂⒺⓂⒺⓈ ☈ ❤ | +0.82 | 53 | 60 |
| #5 | р⭕⃤ₓ | +0.79 | 52 | 61 |





