








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1186 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2320 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2249 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2540 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,588,487 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDAIN | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | sKeLeTr0n | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | Dicox | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Diddily | 50% | 100 |
| #5 | Karpador | 49% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeanReload | 13 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Karpador | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Deathinteresse | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | JDAIN | 8 | 0.0158 |
| #5 | Timbo | 7 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathinteresse | 1392 | 0.28 | 44 min |
| #2 | Karpador | 764 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | R0biNbLy4t | 486 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | Diddily | 318 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | sKeLeTr0n | 194 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDAIN | +2.91 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | sKeLeTr0n | +2.42 | 76 | 74 |
| #3 | Diddily | +2.11 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | ^ N u i # . _ | +1.81 | 68 | 65 |
| #5 | Deathinteresse | +0.84 | 64 | 82 |





