








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 587 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11013 | 31% |
| Smokes | 10055 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6396 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 8632 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,277 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDAIN | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | PYRO | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | kpwfenins <3 NMZS | 49% | 233 |
| #4 | Diddily | 47% | 355 |
| #5 | ℝ𝕪𝕚𝕒𝕙 | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diddily | 17 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Karpador | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | kpwfenins <3 NMZS | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | JeanReload | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Giottoli | 8 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diddily | 1292 | 0.18 | 35 min |
| #2 | Karpador | 1152 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #3 | R0biNbLy4t | 796 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #4 | Giottoli | 405 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | ikbims | 331 | 0.17 | 8 min |





