








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 660 | 28% |
| Smokes | 702 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 502 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 525 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,229,802 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kartsa | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | Merphen | 43% | 28 |
| #3 | Ana | 43% | 61 |
| #4 | Roobertti | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | Uncle Ben's | 41% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Roobertti | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | Uncle Ben's | 41% | 213 |
| #6 | Dani | 40% | 57 |
| #7 | ankkax | 36% | 96 |
| #8 | FieryDawn[FIN] | 31% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Ben's | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Ana | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Merphen | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ankkax | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Dani | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Ben's | 410 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Dani | 169 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Roobertti | 161 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ana | 158 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | ankkax | 141 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Ben's | +3.40 | 68 | 72 |
| #2 | Dani | +2.19 | 54 | 59 |
| #3 | Kartsa | +1.28 | 56 | 63 |
| #4 | Roobertti | +1.22 | 60 | 68 |
| #5 | Ana | +0.87 | 63 | 47 |





