








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 915 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 371 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4076 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5785 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6498 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5775 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,100,371 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 589 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3ga | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | Keksi | 60% | 73 |
| #3 | Uncle Ben's | 60% | 235 |
| #4 | Johnny | 55% | 109 |
| #5 | Genitalissimus Maximus | 55% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Darag | 51% | 83 |
| #13 | Skele | 49% | 61 |
| #14 | General PENAperse | 46% | 227 |
| #15 | spelzu | 43% | 61 |
| #16 | ✰ ☆ ★Hirvi★ ☆ ✰ | 42% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dani | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Uncle Ben's | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Roobertti | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | General PENAperse | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | ✰ ☆ ★Hirvi★ ☆ ✰ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roobertti | 1740 | 0.23 | 46 min |
| #2 | Dani | 1217 | 0.17 | 37 min |
| #3 | Uncle Ben's | 498 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Kartsa | 434 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #5 | Keksi | 431 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skele | +3.76 | 80 | 50 |
| #2 | Uncle Ben's | +2.89 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | Keksi | +1.66 | 66 | 73 |
| #4 | Dani | +1.18 | 55 | 66 |
| #5 | Johnny | +1.04 | 73 | 63 |





