








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 806 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6820 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6213 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5496 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4626 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,487,412 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 683 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3ga | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Roobertti | 60% | 140 |
| #3 | Ana | 60% | 235 |
| #4 | General PENAperse | 60% | 47 |
| #5 | siffo | 58% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Merphen | 42% | 86 |
| #11 | spelzu | 41% | 213 |
| #12 | FieryDawn[FIN] | 40% | 106 |
| #13 | ankkax | 40% | 124 |
| #14 | The Hermit Gardener | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dani | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Ana | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Merphen | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | spelzu | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Roobertti | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dani | 668 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Roobertti | 642 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #3 | Ana | 577 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Kartsa | 328 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | siffo | 206 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Ben's | +3.19 | 69 | 72 |
| #2 | Dani | +1.19 | 55 | 67 |
| #3 | L3ga | +0.99 | 67 | 43 |
| #4 | The Hermit Gardener | +0.78 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | Johnny | +0.46 | 70 | 64 |





