








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 647 | 25% |
| Smokes | 927 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 665 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 313 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,363 of utility $252 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tristan :) | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Man met Hoed | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | Zuid Holland | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | Lightning McQueen | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | du_Foef^ | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ox. | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Vieze | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Tristan :) | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Man Met de Gele Cowboyhoed | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | du_Foef^ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ox. | 112 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Vieze | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Man Met de Gele Cowboyhoed | 50 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | du_Foef^ | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Man met Hoed | 25 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man met Hoed | +5.39 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | du_Foef^ | +3.03 | 46 | 49 |
| #3 | Man Met de Gele Cowboyhoed | +3.02 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Tristan :) | +2.81 | 77 | 27 |
| #5 | Lightning McQueen | +2.23 | 60 | 54 |





