










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1271 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1557 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1665 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,780 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man met Hoed | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Tristan :) | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Crassus | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | Lightning McQueen | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Man Met de Gele Cowboyhoed | 44% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vieze | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Man Met de Gele Cowboyhoed | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Lightning McQueen | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Crassus | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | du_Foef^ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man Met de Gele Cowboyhoed | 121 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Crassus | 110 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Vieze | 101 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lightning McQueen | 44 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | du_Foef^ | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man met Hoed | +3.57 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | Man Met de Gele Cowboyhoed | +2.82 | 73 | 53 |
| #3 | du_Foef^ | +1.99 | 52 | 51 |
| #4 | Tristan :) | +1.29 | 82 | 36 |
| #5 | The Ox. | +0.03 | 72 | 66 |





