








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 758 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1168 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 812 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 418 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,119 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | broN | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | dinmammaglad | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | 𓆩Åꞩꞩᵯⱥꞥ𓆪 | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | kraa | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Raseptimus Prime | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | beppesh | 38% | 53 |
| #9 | Rex | 36% | 45 |
| #10 | FullkornsBobVall | 35% | 31 |
| #11 | Eddie | 25% | 12 |
| #12 | Oscar | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | 22 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | beppesh | 10 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Rex | 10 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | FullkornsBobVall | 10 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | 𓆩Åꞩꞩᵯⱥꞥ𓆪 | 9 | 0.0151 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | 352 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Pomppi | 330 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | beppesh | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | dinmammaglad | 103 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | broN | 90 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | +6.18 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | dinmammaglad | +5.64 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | 𓆩Åꞩꞩᵯⱥꞥ𓆪 | +3.40 | 78 | 39 |
| #4 | kraa | +2.60 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | Pomppi | +1.55 | 57 | 63 |





