








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7266 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4981 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3352 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4549 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,920,981 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | men | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Andija | 56% | 274 |
| #3 | LANTERN ROUGE | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Present | 53% | 274 |
| #5 | overli | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LANTERN ROUGE | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Present | 53% | 274 |
| #5 | overli | 52% | 46 |
| #6 | Bolla | 50% | 187 |
| #7 | Cosmic | 49% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolla | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Andija | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Cosmic | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Present | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | overli | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andija | 1243 | 0.22 | 35 min |
| #2 | Present | 769 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | Cosmic | 377 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bolla | 190 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | LANTERN ROUGE | 115 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jenss | +2.68 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | Andija | +2.24 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | men | +1.33 | 69 | 57 |
| #4 | overli | +0.13 | 79 | 53 |
| #5 | Bolla | -0.19 | 55 | 21 |





