








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6749 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7018 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4707 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6024 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,917,897 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby | 69% | 165 |
| #2 | fletch | 64% | 56 |
| #3 | jon | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Jens | 56% | 274 |
| #5 | The GOAT | 54% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | The GOAT | 54% | 257 |
| #6 | 🫨C H A R I Z A R D🫨 | 54% | 151 |
| #7 | curvy grandmas whit downs♿ | 51% | 158 |
| #8 | LANTERN ROUGE | 50% | 40 |
| #9 | overli | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jens | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | baby | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | 🫨C H A R I Z A R D🫨 | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | The GOAT | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | curvy grandmas whit downs♿ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jens | 1081 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | The GOAT | 727 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | baby | 447 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | curvy grandmas whit downs♿ | 270 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | fletch | 238 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby | +3.73 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | Andija | +1.92 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | Jens | +1.67 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | jon | +0.73 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | overli | -0.07 | 83 | 59 |





