








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 785 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11128 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7321 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7727 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5023 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,202,564 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stampertje | 53% | 169 |
| #2 | CaTsCaN^ | 52% | 86 |
| #3 | dMkURWA. | 51% | 255 |
| #4 | finnS | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | CaTsCaNn^ | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dMkURWA. | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | finnS | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Deniev | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | CÅMǾ | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | bmw speed | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bmw speed | 1033 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #2 | dMkURWA. | 488 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Stampertje | 392 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | CÅMǾ | 389 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #5 | CaTsCaN^ | 388 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEANMACHINE | +2.82 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | Mango | +1.17 | 69 | 73 |
| #3 | bmw speed | +0.57 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | n!v4 | +0.10 | 49 | 62 |
| #5 | dMkURWA. | +0.09 | 65 | 69 |





