








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 546 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5833 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8034 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5914 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3843 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,415,368 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bmw speed | 53% | 133 |
| #2 | Deniev | 52% | 109 |
| #3 | DEANMACHINE | 51% | 255 |
| #4 | Stampertje | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | n!v4 | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bmw speed | 53% | 133 |
| #2 | Deniev | 52% | 109 |
| #3 | DEANMACHINE | 51% | 255 |
| #4 | Stampertje | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | n!v4 | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEANMACHINE | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | bmw speed | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Deniev | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Stampertje | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEANMACHINE | 657 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | bmw speed | 372 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | n!v4 | 98 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stampertje | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Deniev | 60 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEANMACHINE | +2.66 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | Stampertje | +0.30 | 55 | 61 |
| #3 | dMkURWA. | +0.23 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | bmw speed | -0.08 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | n!v4 | -0.55 | 48 | 59 |





