








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2470 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1470 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2208 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1733 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,264 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bowl | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | ♿ Bashkimi ♿ | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | ✪ SmashDown | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | sasa2k | 64% | 36 |
| #5 | g4. | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sasa2k | 64% | 36 |
| #5 | g4. | 63% | 24 |
| #6 | -Upssss- | 56% | 25 |
| #7 | FAbii | 54% | 13 |
| #8 | nej | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Bashkimi ♿ | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | ✪ SmashDown | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | bowl | 2 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Upssss- | 166 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #2 | sasa2k | 118 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | g4. | 83 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♿ Bashkimi ♿ | 83 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #5 | bowl | 55 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ SmashDown | +2.90 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | FAbii | +1.40 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | d$. | +1.12 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | g4. | +0.78 | 82 | 74 |
| #5 | sasa2k | +0.24 | 69 | 61 |





