








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2584 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5022 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3313 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3946 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,036,927 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruby Da Cherry | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Quantum | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | morEz | 57% | 96 |
| #4 | Garbologist. | 56% | 109 |
| #5 | blaze-_o | 56% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zeff | 50% | 103 |
| #9 | d r e w | 49% | 261 |
| #10 | d e v v .xi | 48% | 314 |
| #11 | TG4M | 44% | 27 |
| #12 | fcb_jsx | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d r e w | 19 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | d e v v .xi | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | d u n g l o l | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | blaze-_o | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Garbologist. | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d u n g l o l | +2.33 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | fcb_jsx | +1.58 | 61 | 73 |
| #3 | Garbologist. | +1.56 | 59 | 82 |
| #4 | TG4M | +1.17 | 86 | 50 |
| #5 | morEz | +0.69 | 72 | 68 |





