








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 965 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2658 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2651 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1924 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,235 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fcb_jsx | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | blaze-_o | 51% | 129 |
| #3 | Prae | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | d u n g l o l | 49% | 202 |
| #5 | Garbologist. | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d u n g l o l | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | d r e w | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Garbologist. | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | blaze-_o | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | d e v v .xi | 3 | 0.0013 |





