








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3375 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3291 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2720 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2656 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,123 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaMO- | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Kartza | 55% | 66 |
| #3 | Radioaktiivinenurossimpanssi | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | weku | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Pöllö_// | 52% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Sipuli | 48% | 162 |
| #12 | Möllis | 45% | 20 |
| #13 | Jantsuu | 39% | 36 |
| #14 | Vladimir Jesus Tarzan | 38% | 13 |
| #15 | Cookie` | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pöllö_// | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Dafffttttyyy | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Sipuli | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Kartza | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Lund | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sipuli | 729 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mossepo | 445 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | Pöllö_// | 283 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dafffttttyyy | 241 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Radioaktiivinenurossimpanssi | 155 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mossepo | +1.89 | 82 | 78 |
| #2 | weku | +1.20 | 71 | 76 |
| #3 | JaMO- | +1.02 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | wNtd:> | +1.02 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | Dafffttttyyy | +0.88 | 75 | 70 |





