








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Esplay | 69 matches | 2,040 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6752 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3995 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3402 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3654 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,895,777 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 838 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuhan Tapp | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Korkut Binay Özdinar | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | swar | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | Författaren | 62% | 71 |
| #5 | SK | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jackw | 52% | 60 |
| #11 | OG | 49% | 94 |
| #12 | Luftwasser | 49% | 80 |
| #13 | SneLHesT | 48% | 105 |
| #14 | Pacmaxa | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uzze | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | subzero | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | surpr1se | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | SneLHesT | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Luftwasser | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | subzero | 550 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | jackw | 436 | 0.35 | 14 min |
| #3 | uzze | 327 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | surpr1se | 324 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | OG | 313 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uzze | +2.63 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | subzero | +2.52 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | Korkut Binay Özdinar | +2.31 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | SMB | +2.13 | 71 | 75 |
| #5 | jackw | +1.67 | 67 | 75 |





