








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 496 | 6% |
| Smokes | 2768 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3030 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2510 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $778,468 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂 | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | Janxu | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | A_A | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | .--NuKi--. | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Triki☆ | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insane | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | A_A | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Janxu | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂 | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | TIGER | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Nossu. | 120 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | TIGER | 109 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Insane | 76 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂 | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | A_A | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂 | +3.72 | 72 | 47 |
| #2 | TIGER | +1.68 | 41 | 50 |
| #3 | Triki☆ | +1.32 | 54 | 47 |
| #4 | ✪ Nossu. | +1.26 | 60 | 76 |
| #5 | Janxu | +1.23 | 68 | 37 |





