








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 437 | 22% |
| Smokes | 650 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 727 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,448 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | champagne papi jiggy | 52% | 64 |
| #2 | DanZ3r0 | 48% | 42 |
| #3 | k1nzy | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | sunny | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | champagne papi jiggy | 52% | 64 |
| #2 | DanZ3r0 | 48% | 42 |
| #3 | k1nzy | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | sunny | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | champagne papi jiggy | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | DanZ3r0 | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | k1nzy | 3 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | sunny | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | champagne papi jiggy | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | DanZ3r0 | 63 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | k1nzy | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | sunny | 34 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | champagne papi jiggy | +3.63 | 81 | 49 |
| #2 | sunny | +0.50 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | k1nzy | -0.49 | 79 | 48 |
| #4 | HUSTLR | -0.94 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | DanZ3r0 | -1.75 | 48 | 39 |





