








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 28% |
| Smokes | 363 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 321 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 52 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $101,031 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanZ3r0 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | champagne papi jiggy | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | HUSTLR | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanZ3r0 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | champagne papi jiggy | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | HUSTLR | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUSTLR | 2 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | champagne papi jiggy | 1 | 0.0227 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUSTLR | 21 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | DanZ3r0 | 7 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #3 | champagne papi jiggy | 3 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | champagne papi jiggy | +3.69 | 79 | 53 |
| #2 | DanZ3r0 | +0.44 | 57 | 70 |
| #3 | k1nzy | +0.14 | 77 | 53 |
| #4 | HUSTLR | -0.93 | 76 | 65 |





