








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2725 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2080 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2108 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2043 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,007 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 606 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scooterJ | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | bald | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Nibzter | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | delphiki | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | kooster | 60% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ZeedSaMa | 50% | 12 |
| #12 | TinG💔 | 50% | 24 |
| #13 | ✪ Aspeladden | 48% | 23 |
| #14 | Lurve | 45% | 11 |
| #15 | JWS | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesp | +3.27 | 91 | 77 |
| #2 | Nibzter | +1.52 | 71 | 74 |
| #3 | ✪ Aspeladden | +1.15 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | delphiki | +0.54 | 85 | 64 |
| #5 | scooterJ | +0.27 | 86 | 72 |





