








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Esplay | 17 matches | 2,021 | |
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1691 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1199 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 749 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 724 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,449 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nibzter | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | ALEX | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | KAYGO | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Jesp | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | TinG💔 | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALEX | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | KAYGO | 2 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | TinG💔 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Lurve | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Shubbler | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lurve | 117 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nibzter | 98 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jesp | 91 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | ALEX | 86 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | zeo | 85 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaugeN | +2.66 | 86 | 44 |
| #2 | Nibzter | +2.24 | 68 | 76 |
| #3 | Jesp | +2.23 | 92 | 76 |
| #4 | TinG💔 | +1.18 | 76 | 45 |
| #5 | Shubbler | +1.01 | 78 | 68 |





