








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4341 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3510 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2723 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2975 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,960 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToodlesGaming | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | Kapper556 | 75% | 20 |
| #3 | romi | 74% | 39 |
| #4 | romBlex | 65% | 125 |
| #5 | Rud0lf | 62% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | romBlex | 65% | 125 |
| #5 | Rud0lf | 62% | 89 |
| #6 | Jaker00 | 61% | 119 |
| #7 | Weasel | 57% | 56 |
| #8 | rubidobi | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | romBlex | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Jaker00 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Rud0lf | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | rubidobi | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Weasel | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | romBlex | 820 | 0.33 | 27 min |
| #2 | rubidobi | 237 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Weasel | 230 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jaker00 | 223 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rud0lf | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morgan | +2.47 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Weasel | +2.36 | 68 | 73 |
| #3 | romBlex | +2.12 | 63 | 85 |
| #4 | rubidobi | +0.88 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | ToodlesGaming | -0.45 | 36 | 50 |





