








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 418 | 18% |
| Smokes | 796 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 444 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,746 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibachi | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | Just the right amount of napkins | 40% | 110 |
| #3 | CheeseSodaPunch (he/him) | 33% | 70 |
| #4 | Driver Gabe | 33% | 67 |
| #5 | MicroBit | 32% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibachi | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | Just the right amount of napkins | 40% | 110 |
| #3 | CheeseSodaPunch (he/him) | 33% | 70 |
| #4 | Driver Gabe | 33% | 67 |
| #5 | MicroBit | 32% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just the right amount of napkins | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | CheeseSodaPunch (he/him) | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Driver Gabe | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | MicroBit | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just the right amount of napkins | 443 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | MicroBit | 90 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Driver Gabe | 60 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hibachi | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | CheeseSodaPunch (he/him) | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibachi | +5.76 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | MicroBit | +3.24 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | Just the right amount of napkins | +2.10 | 63 | 70 |
| #4 | Triad | -2.17 | 22 | 54 |
| #5 | Driver Gabe | -3.86 | 11 | 44 |





