








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2397 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3616 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3194 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3228 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,364,951 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just the right amount of napkins | 55% | 141 |
| #2 | Triad | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Driver Gabe | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just the right amount of napkins | 55% | 141 |
| #2 | Triad | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Driver Gabe | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just the right amount of napkins | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Driver Gabe | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just the right amount of napkins | 569 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Driver Gabe | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Triad | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibachi | +1.02 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | Just the right amount of napkins | +0.67 | 55 | 70 |
| #3 | Triad | -3.12 | 18 | 47 |
| #4 | Driver Gabe | -3.83 | 13 | 38 |





