








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 41 | 12% |
| Smokes | 56 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 120 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 121 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,415 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibachi | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | Triad | 33% | 70 |
| #3 | Just the right amount of napkins | 32% | 77 |
| #4 | Driver Gabe | 29% | 52 |
| #5 | MicroBit | 27% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibachi | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | Triad | 33% | 70 |
| #3 | Just the right amount of napkins | 32% | 77 |
| #4 | Driver Gabe | 29% | 52 |
| #5 | MicroBit | 27% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just the right amount of napkins | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Driver Gabe | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Triad | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | MicroBit | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just the right amount of napkins | 299 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | MicroBit | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Triad | 61 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Driver Gabe | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hibachi | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibachi | +6.51 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | MicroBit | +3.70 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | Just the right amount of napkins | +1.91 | 64 | 69 |
| #4 | Triad | -1.70 | 26 | 59 |
| #5 | Driver Gabe | -3.74 | 12 | 45 |





