








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 262 | 15% |
| Smokes | 168 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 531 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 730 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,652 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sh0rt^y | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Hibachi | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | Just the right amount of napkins | 38% | 85 |
| #4 | Triad | 33% | 67 |
| #5 | MicroBit | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hibachi | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | Just the right amount of napkins | 38% | 85 |
| #4 | Triad | 33% | 67 |
| #5 | MicroBit | 31% | 45 |
| #6 | CheeseSodaPunch (he/him) | 29% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheeseSodaPunch (he/him) | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Just the right amount of napkins | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | MicroBit | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | sh0rt^y | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just the right amount of napkins | 334 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hibachi | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | MicroBit | 58 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Triad | 57 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | sh0rt^y | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibachi | +5.74 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | MicroBit | +3.02 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | Just the right amount of napkins | +1.98 | 62 | 72 |
| #4 | sh0rt^y | +1.14 | 63 | 35 |
| #5 | Triad | -2.37 | 25 | 54 |





