








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 620 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 61,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21391 | 35% |
| Smokes | 16514 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 10636 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 12761 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,642,029 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 839 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐
๐
๐
๐
๐
ข | 56% | 350 |
| #2 | mr.fl0ppY | 55% | 176 |
| #3 | CreveBlack | 55% | 75 |
| #4 | FkBaus | 52% | 79 |
| #5 | NYAN | 52% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | n3onL4mpe | 46% | 163 |
| #16 | HANS-DIETER-X. | 45% | 130 |
| #17 | KingKongKerim | 45% | 97 |
| #18 | xion | 44% | 59 |
| #19 | ArkoN | 39% | 62 |





