








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5781 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4639 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7010 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 5334 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,470,442 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SteelFURY<--1960 | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | BEN | 61% | 140 |
| #3 | $†eel .✘♛♈♛™ | 61% | 67 |
| #4 | Dose | 59% | 80 |
| #5 | n3onL4mpe | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | HANS-DIETER-X. | 46% | 37 |
| #16 | Timatan | 46% | 37 |
| #17 | Vernascher | 45% | 42 |
| #18 | mrc | 44% | 32 |
| #19 | ♿ uLTiM0 | 43% | 77 |





