








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Faceit | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5489 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4250 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4358 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3628 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,113,804 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 490 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻芫 -🚽 ✂ ⋃ Herden⭕⃤☜☯☞ | 66% | 145 |
| #2 | Procell | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | Kaws | 60% | 126 |
| #4 | save | 56% | 171 |
| #5 | Andst ムム | 56% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | vilderen^ | 52% | 284 |
| #10 | Suk Mike Hok | 52% | 64 |
| #11 | Cardan | 47% | 133 |
| #12 | KirstenP <3 | 47% | 221 |
| #13 | JanniS | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wild-Jam | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ︻芫 -🚽 ✂ ⋃ Herden⭕⃤☜☯☞ | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Cardan | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | vilderen^ | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | KirstenP <3 | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wild-Jam | 1051 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | save | 688 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | Cardan | 342 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | KirstenP <3 | 322 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | Bysted \\ | 248 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻芫 -🚽 ✂ ⋃ Herden⭕⃤☜☯☞ | +4.98 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | Procell | +4.66 | 87 | 77 |
| #3 | Suk Mike Hok | +1.84 | 72 | 50 |
| #4 | Kaws | +1.68 | 82 | 63 |
| #5 | PEST | +1.34 | 82 | 67 |





