








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5230 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5055 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2291 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2669 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $989,326 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻芫 -🚽 ✂ ⋃ Herden⭕⃤☜☯☞ | 68% | 59 |
| #2 | Nicki_G | 64% | 70 |
| #3 | vilderen^ | 60% | 52 |
| #4 | Kaws | 58% | 186 |
| #5 | Bysted \\ | 57% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaws | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | PEST | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Suk Mike Hok | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Bysted \\ | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | save | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | save | 845 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | PEST | 409 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #3 | Kaws | 246 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bysted \\ | 115 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | ︻芫 -🚽 ✂ ⋃ Herden⭕⃤☜☯☞ | 87 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻芫 -🚽 ✂ ⋃ Herden⭕⃤☜☯☞ | +5.04 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Procell | +4.21 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | Kaws | +2.11 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Suk Mike Hok | +2.05 | 72 | 45 |
| #5 | vilderen^ | +1.54 | 84 | 54 |





