








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 384 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 202 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5951 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4974 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5422 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4691 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,505,604 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 753 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BC | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | Cardan | 43% | 348 |
| #10 | JanniS | 41% | 213 |
| #11 | Kr0ell3 | 37% | 51 |
| #12 | Bysted \\ | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vilderen^ | 15 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Cardan | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | PEST | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Andst ムム | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | JanniS | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardan | 800 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #2 | PEST | 428 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Andst ムム | 398 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | vilderen^ | 310 | 0.02 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kr0ell3 | 235 | 0.21 | 7 min |





