








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3054 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2486 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2416 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1445 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,066,586 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 612 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheduaD | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | EEMiMBA | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | Ice Cold Nutz | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | Nani | 48% | 109 |
| #5 | Eli | 44% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Koff | 39% | 38 |
| #11 | handd | 36% | 22 |
| #12 | R.I.N.K.Eli | 34% | 32 |
| #13 | KATTIMATIKAINEN | 33% | 27 |
| #14 | Cobb | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eli | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | R.I.N.K.Eli | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | KATTIMATIKAINEN | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | TheduaD | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | EEMiMBA | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nani | 583 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #2 | Eli | 546 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #3 | EEMiMBA | 518 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #4 | FЯAG | 264 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | R.I.N.K.Eli | 119 | 0.20 | 2 min |





