








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 536 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11524 | 29% |
| Smokes | 11312 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8806 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8019 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,061,985 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flc/t/ | 58% | 139 |
| #2 | mKa | 53% | 314 |
| #3 | Nani | 53% | 185 |
| #4 | handd | 53% | 74 |
| #5 | Kimmo | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | EEMiMBA | 50% | 202 |
| #11 | Kapizh | 50% | 54 |
| #12 | jesm!es. | 49% | 86 |
| #13 | DvL | 48% | 198 |
| #14 | Pex1 | 43% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eli | 3229 | 0.22 | 83 min |
| #2 | EEMiMBA | 1277 | 0.30 | 39 min |
| #3 | Nani | 955 | 0.26 | 26 min |
| #4 | DvL | 839 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #5 | mKa | 571 | 0.08 | 15 min |





