








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 834 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6132 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6166 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5151 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4071 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,432,449 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 610 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guardiola5 | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | Stutje-iwnl- | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | y2 | 53% | 110 |
| #4 | Biurrun | 52% | 103 |
| #5 | Chechu! | 48% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guardiola5 | +3.57 | 77 | 50 |
| #2 | Biurrun | +1.67 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | Stutje-iwnl- | +1.55 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | y2 | +1.33 | 81 | 53 |
| #5 | Creedence | +1.25 | 84 | 68 |





