








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5944 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8599 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5466 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6187 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $984,351 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | snus | 60% | 55 |
| #4 | gibbi | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | MAJOR | 53% | 34 |
| #6 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Gensys | 48% | 50 |
| #7 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Askurvitol max 100mg | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | snus | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | gibbi | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | +2.18 | 52 | 58 |
| #2 | MAJOR | +1.67 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | snus | +1.48 | 56 | 26 |
| #4 | Askurvitol max 100mg | +0.71 | 56 | 47 |
| #5 | gibbi | +0.69 | 56 | 58 |





