








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2467 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3465 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2289 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1246 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $733,105 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brother LasriVonWelt | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | Askurvitol max 100mg | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | snus | 52% | 216 |
| #4 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Borówa | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Gensys | 43% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Askurvitol max 100mg | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | snus | 52% | 216 |
| #4 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Borówa | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Gensys | 43% | 169 |
| #6 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Rintintin | 37% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Gensys | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Askurvitol max 100mg | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | snus | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Brother LasriVonWelt | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Borówa | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Gensys | 614 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Rintintin | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Askurvitol max 100mg | 107 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Brother LasriVonWelt | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | snus | 51 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snus | +1.47 | 58 | 23 |
| #2 | gibbi | +0.02 | 54 | 54 |
| #3 | Brother LasriVonWelt | -0.46 | 21 | 60 |
| #4 | Askurvitol max 100mg | -0.71 | 54 | 41 |
| #5 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Gensys | -1.32 | 43 | 63 |





