








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9852 | 31% |
| Smokes | 10768 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5599 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5530 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,373,247 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brother LasriVonWelt | 48% | 50 |
| #2 | snus | 46% | 267 |
| #3 | Askurvitol max 100mg | 46% | 276 |
| #4 | gibbi | 43% | 169 |
| #5 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Rintintin | 35% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brother LasriVonWelt | 48% | 50 |
| #2 | snus | 46% | 267 |
| #3 | Askurvitol max 100mg | 46% | 276 |
| #4 | gibbi | 43% | 169 |
| #5 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Rintintin | 35% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Askurvitol max 100mg | 25 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | snus | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | gibbi | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Rintintin | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Brother LasriVonWelt | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gibbi | 382 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Askurvitol max 100mg | 295 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Brother LasriVonWelt | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Rintintin | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | snus | 70 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snus | +1.70 | 55 | 23 |
| #2 | Brother LasriVonWelt | +0.04 | 28 | 60 |
| #3 | gibbi | -0.12 | 53 | 54 |
| #4 | Askurvitol max 100mg | -0.45 | 57 | 45 |
| #5 | ↑ⓅⒽ↓ Gensys | -0.67 | 44 | 62 |





