








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 547 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3408 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2342 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3569 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2172 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,559 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackass | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | schRsch | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Horschd | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | matra | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | Sunflower | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRDwOw | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | KeTaNoS | 3 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | ProNighT | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Sunflower | 2 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | scoop | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ennec | +2.60 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | tENZA | +2.11 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | Saturo Gojo | +1.27 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | jackass | +1.02 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | schRsch | +0.62 | 29 | 76 |





