








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2052 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1072 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6154 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7833 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8173 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7584 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,871,140 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hate?! | 63% | 62 |
| #2 | Uffda.MSG | 59% | 106 |
| #3 | Mort^ | 57% | 176 |
| #4 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | 57% | 252 |
| #5 | 🅠🅟 | 55% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | 57% | 252 |
| #5 | 🅠🅟 | 55% | 176 |
| #6 | poop | 53% | 90 |
| #7 | Captain-Frisk | 53% | 128 |
| #8 | ♿HzE♿ | 49% | 635 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿HzE♿ | 11 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Captain-Frisk | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Mort^ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Uffda.MSG | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | 641 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | ♿HzE♿ | 640 | 0.05 | 14 min |
| #3 | 🅠🅟 | 458 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Mort^ | 412 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Captain-Frisk | 284 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PinkyDinky^ | +1.56 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | Captain-Frisk | +1.19 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | Mort^ | +1.00 | 77 | 76 |
| #4 | Uffda.MSG | +0.88 | 89 | 55 |
| #5 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | +0.47 | 82 | 65 |





