








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4584 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3840 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3321 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3498 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,267 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jortsi | 49% | 53 |
| #9 | Pasi Kuivalainen | 49% | 164 |
| #10 | joחɛs | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | RasvaMauri | 44% | 48 |
| #12 | batiGOOOL | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pasi Kuivalainen | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | bobi | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | mizq | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | sil3nt | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | [-Puijo-] moll1 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pasi Kuivalainen | 510 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | bobi | 311 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | esa | 264 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | mizq | 241 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | [-Puijo-] moll1 | 238 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alikessu | +2.33 | 79 | 88 |
| #2 | mizq | +1.31 | 56 | 75 |
| #3 | bobi | +1.12 | 60 | 76 |
| #4 | RasvaMauri | +0.67 | 63 | 74 |
| #5 | joחɛs | -0.47 | 31 | 65 |





